I just read an article via the AP titled:
10 is the New 15 As Kids Grow Up Faster. In one word, I am appalled. Not at the kids, at the parents!
...child development experts say that physical and behavioral changes that would have been typical of teenagers decades ago are now common among "tweens" - kids ages 8 to 12...
...Some of them are going on "dates" and talking on their own cell phones. They listen to sexually charged pop music, play mature-rated video games and spend time gossiping on MySpace. And more girls are wearing makeup and clothing that some consider beyond their years...
My question is - WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? HELLO?! A 'child' doesn't go on a date unless the parent allows it. A child doesn't have their own cell phone unless a parent buys it for them. A child doesn't listen to sexually charged music, play mature rated video games and spend time gossiping on myspace UNLESS A PARENT ALLOWS IT.
We have acquaintenances that allow their children (around the same age as our children, 9-11) to play T or above rated video games, they allow them to watch any PG13 movie, they allow them to use the computer UNMODERATED - totally trusting their children. The point isn't that they shouldn't trust their children, the point is, their children are TOO YOUNG to be fully cognizant of the morals they 'say' they are trying to teach them. The children do not understand and will listen to anything in any form of leadership and if the parents aren't there leading, guess what, Snoop Dog and Eminem are.
The shift that's turning tweens into the new teens is complex - and worrisome to parents and some professionals who deal with children. They wonder if kids are equipped to handle the thorny issues that come with the adolescent world.
Well, DUH. It doesn't take someone specializing in adolescent blah blah to know that of course they are not equipped. How can they possibly be? We take them from babies to toddlers to adults in one fell swoop. Almost entirely skipping childhood and adolescent and teen years.
Along with that, even young children are having to deal with peer pressure and other societal influences.
Beyond the drugs, sex and rock'n'roll their boomer and Gen X parents navigated, technology and consumerism have accelerated the pace of life, giving kids easy access to influences that may or may not be parent-approved. Sex, violence and foul language that used to be relegated to late-night viewing and R-rated movies are expected fixtures in everyday TV.
And many tweens model what they see, including common plot lines "where the kids are really running the house, not the dysfunctional parents," ...
Kids look and dress older. They struggle to process the images of sex, violence and adult humor, even when their parents try to shield them. And sometimes, he says, parents end up encouraging the behavior by failing to set limits - in essence, handing over power to their kids.
Yes, let's talk about limits. How hard can it possibly be to limit the use of 'live TV'? How hard? Pretty much NOT HARD AT ALL FOLKS. It's called TURN IT OFF. In our house, we never watch live TV - easy tech fix, use TIVO or any DVR. This eliminates the watching of the crappy commercials let alone 99.9% of the junk that's on TV and not appropriate to watch. There is no way I want my children watching TV shows in which the children degrade and disrespect the parents, AND, they will not watch any show (which is most) in which the wife is portrayed as the intelligent one and the husband as the stupid side kick. Everybody Love's Raymond was a perfect example of this type of pathetic garbage.
And what about Sponge Bob? In who's right mind is this appropriate for children to watch? Or most of the cartoons out there? They aren't modeling respectful loving relationships, instead, they are modeling rebellion, disrespect, inappropriate attitudes, etc. So many people think 'oh it's harmless' and despite the growing evidence in society (you know, the extreme disrespect young people have for anyone else, including their own peers, the disrespect women have for men and are encouraging the same in men for women) people are running around with blinders on. The typical excuse: 'oh, it was the same when we were kids' is full of horse dung.
her 12-year-old son heard the popular pop song "Promiscuous" and asked her what the word meant.
"I mean, it's OK to have that conversation, but when it's constantly playing, it normalizes it,"
She observes that parents sometimes gravitate to one of two ill-advised extremes - they're either horrified by such questions from their kids, or they "revel" in the teen-like behavior. As an example of the latter reaction, she notes how some parents think it's cute when their daughters wear pants or shorts with words such as "hottie" on the back.
"Believe me, I'm a very open-minded person. But it promotes a certain way of thinking about girls and their back sides," Alderman says. "A 12-year-old isn't sexy."
Ok, two thoughts here. It is absolutely necessary to communicate with your children all the time, constantly. Answer their questions, don't shy away from talking about things just because you are embarrased or think they are too young. If they are asking, they are NOT too young and believe me, if you don't talk with them, they'll find their answers elsewhere and you most likely will not like the answers they find.
My next thought is, if children are coming up with questions that appear too old for them - find out where, why and how they are coming up with these. If adult songs are constantly playing on the radio, why in the world are people letting their young children listen to adult stations? Why? Why aren't they directing them to safer radio stations or strictly to CD's? It's easy enough to do and if you don't trust your children to heed your instruction, well, quite frankly, you have bigger fish to fry and haven't done a good parenting job with them in the first place. Yes, children rebel, but, children rebel within the confines you set. If you've built up a respect with them, from them, their 'rebellion' will be entirely different than children who do not respect their parents. And respect does NOT come from allowing them wide boundaries. And honestly, rebellion is NOT a necessity in growing up. We've (our current society) just made it appear to be so.
Claire Unterseher, a mother in Chicago, says she only allows her children - including an 8-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter - to watch public television.
And yet, already, they're coming home from school asking to download songs she considers more appropriate for teens.
Hum, well, how about getting them out of public school? There are many options available and frankly, it surprises me when Christian parents put their children in public school with no qualms about it (haven't the faintest idea if the person above is a Christian). Christian parents today talk the talk but don't walk the walk. Public school is detrimental to children, for so many reasons and one huge one is the topic of this very post. Children do NOT need to 'grow up' until they are adults, period.
The article goes on to say how marketing/advertising is the leading influence in this area. Frankly, I agree and that is why our children do not watch live TV. We watch DVD's and that's it. The amount of actual TV we watch is limited to HGTV and 1-2 weekly shows the DH watches from TIVO, late in the evening when the children are in bed. Our children also attend a private school which is the absolutely best possible school for them. Were we not to have the option of this school, we would do everything we could to keep them out of public school, including homeschooling and any other avenue available.
Anyway, off my soap box.
